LEAD your TRAUMA
When creating awareness over your mind, soul and body, you start to realise that our body always keeps the score. So when you start to create awareness, naturally we are able to release any trauma that is stored strategically. I wanted to take some time to talk about trauma and how it is able to let it lead us through life. It is able to distract us from living a life in real happiness.
First, we need to understand what trauma is. Where trauma comes from and where it is stored in the body. Because psychosomatically it will be stored. We literally carry it with us. Sometimes more on the surface than other times. Visible throughout systems that we taught ourselves to protect ourselves to not relive trauma via identical emotions. We don’t want similar emotions linked with a certain trauma, so what we do naturally 9 out of 10 is building a ‘way of doing things’ to not feel the same stuff over and over again. “When we understand and trust that trauma will be stored in the body, we can create awareness of how it is exposed. Throughout which systems we are ‘protecting’ ourselves. When we catch up on those certain behavioural patterns, we are able to heal. Be lighter. Live lighter.” I understand that this last part is somewhat complicated and sometimes very challenging. It’s scary to allow yourself to grow and to start opening up. Being vulnerable to those things that hurt you the most is bloody scary. Though, trusting the healing process is essential. “When we start challenging ourselves to do things differently there will be some discomfort. We need to understand that healing trauma is magical in the end. It lights us up as it lets us say goodbye to those things we hate and maybe love at the same time. Healing connects us. To ourselves and self-evident with others.”
When healing trauma, some pillars are terribly important. First of all; there needs to be a certain percentage of WANTING to heal. But what I’ve seen is that people are willing to heal, but not able to create awareness of the stuff that needs to be healed. Ultimately we start to get into lower energies and even start to get obsessed with certain things, and trauma starts to expose itself through certain behaviour.
“Real happiness isn’t a quick fix. The ego is one important thing to catch up on. Especially if your coping mechanism is feeding the ego with validation externally. ‘Good job’, ‘well done’ and ‘you are the best’, aren’t going to last long. And those ‘new shoes’, ‘new house’ or ‘new kids’ neither. Also seeking approval of love and acceptance is exactly that.”
So, how do you start finding that deep inner happiness you may ask? Well, as indicated at the start of this blog: taking responsibility is all about WILLING to heal. And willing to transform. Noticing unhealthy patterns and transforming them isn’t easy but at least you could give it a shot, right?!
“This healing journey starts by watching in what environment you have put yourself into. Be incredibly honest with yourself by paying attention to how and when you are seeking attention in that certain environment and that role that you are playing.”
Then, trust, safety and stability to those who you allow to assist you. Letting others assist in healing your trauma means finding your tribe. Find people that are knowledgeable enough to know that unresolved trauma isn’t depression. (Actually, unresolved trauma may cause depression.) Find people that can hold space for you. That can LISTEN to LEARN and can help you understand yourself and your patterns. A tip; trying to practice this last exercise yourself and just be surprised by what you can learn from it.
At last; accept that true happiness is a state of constantly BEING LOVED BY YOURSELF. So if you look in the mirror and you erase all those rolls you are putting yourself into, (being a partner, colleague, parent, teacher, etc.) you should ask yourself what is left looking beyond those rolls. If the answer is ‘I don’t know’, start to take action. Action in erasing the patterns of shouting louder and louder for attention or approval.
No. Stop it.
Give that attention and love to accept your true self.
Because, you deserve it.